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Dating a widower with a young child

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Over the last few years I've received hundreds of emails from women dating widowers.

From them I’ve noticed some patterns of behavior that indicate the widower isn’t ready for a serious relationship and just using the woman to temporarily fill the void created by the death of his late wife.

Most of all, I worry about the impact dating will have on my young children. Would a life of loneliness and sexual frustration make me a more honorable widow? But as I look back on the joy I shared with my husband during our three short years of marriage — the late-night talks, dinner dates in Georgetown, trips to the John F. I gave birth to two beautiful children and am modeling to them hope in the face of adversity. Some lucky man will have the privilege of shaping these young lives.

Sometimes I wonder if dating is worth jeopardizing my children’s peace and stability. Kennedy Center, family vacations to the Grand Canyon and Hawaii, long walks on the beach, holding hands, making love on a rainy day, raising children, love — I know it’s a worth the risk. And the right man — a mature man — will be able to look past the stretch marks on my stomach and the wounds on this widow’s heart and see something worth taking a risk for, too.

How long does a widow/widower typically wait to start dating again? I was lonely for several years before my husband died.

I would have been dating again within a year if I had not been in a car accident that put me out of action for 9 months.

Yes, that's possible, but remember that grief is a rollercoaster ride and can last quite a while.

What's wrong with starting as friends and seeing where it goes from there?

It was two days after our third wedding anniversary. He told me he knew I was the one after he heard me preach. I will never forget the way he smiled at me from behind the church organ.

Remember, that we didn't get divorced and we don't hate our late husbands/wives.

There's nothing wrong with having a picture or some pictures around the house.

One is ready to date again whenever solitude gives way to loneliness.

It is natural to want a partner, but the partner is not a substitute.“One should wait until THEY feel they are ready.