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The love of your life doesn’t simply fall into your lap. It’s not like New York, talkative and super-sociable with its endless supply of available people. It’s unchartered territory, and there’s nobody to show you the way. Brussels is often described as transient, and your enthusiasm for dating sure wanes a little after hearing your fourth rendition of “Damn, I’m only here for six months!

You begin to casually eye up Flanders, wondering what a trip to Ghent might bring you. But then you discover that it seems like Belgians don’t actually date; they all met each other when they were 18 and have been building their house ever since. Or you may have been struck down by the dreaded Compound Syndrome, where you start dating someone totally unsuitable due to lack of choice. But on the other hand, the temptation to take control is understandable, because if not, we’re leaving one of the biggest parts of our lives to chance. So, you might not be able to plan who you end up with, but there are things you can do to try to meet more people and improve your dating life. A friend went to the laundrette and came home with an extra sock and a date with a Frenchman. Change your habits just a bit and you will be surprised who comes into your life.

There are many tomes and works, modern and throughout history, that attest to this distressing truth. And as an expat in this quirky country called Belgium, does it become that much more difficult to meet people than it is at home? Are we left feeling like a fish out of water, thrashing around looking for just anyone to get us a drink? Plus no running into your boyfriend from when you were 15. Like everything in this expat life, it’s just not comparable to home, or indeed to just being a foreigner in a different country where you can assimilate into a predefined culture.

Tolstoy knew it; Jane Austen had the measure of many a man. So many guides, books, dating seminars: He’s Just Not That Into You, because Men Like Women Who Like Themselves, according to The Rules. But when it comes to dating, maybe its lack of rules and tradition is a disadvantage. For many of us, so many people around us would be marrying and having children that maybe we’d be taking the hint too. This is Belgium – you’re not sure what to integrate into anyway, and you’ve no idea which one of three native tongues and one broken one to start conversations in. Then you find out he’s moving to the Congo for a humanitarian mission, or that she’s got the internship of her dreams in Outer Mongolia and can’t have visitors.

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